so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
