She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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