eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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