I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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