..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I believe in your delicious
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
