There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
