Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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