theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
