She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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