I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Princesses don't give blow jobs
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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