Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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