We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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