Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
