Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
