I wanna bring you to show and tell
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
