Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
