I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
