if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
