you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Mom said you looked used
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
