ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
