I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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