Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
