Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
