Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
