No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
