What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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