You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
