Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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