I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
