i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wish I could punch you in the face.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
