Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
