Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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