i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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