you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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