I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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