i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Randomize
