The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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