Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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