My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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