I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
