This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
third nipple confirmed
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
