Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
