I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
