Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
