Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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