oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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