Having a random hookup so left but love u
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
