saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You've changed since you got that strap on
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
