How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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