You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
